About Aurelia Counseling
A Safe Refuge for Change
When talking about change, we often focus on the end result, but miss the part in the middle. The place where the actual change happens is often challenging and painful. And yet, when you get through it, the results are incredible. At Aurelia Counseling, it is my aim to help you create a place of safety in which to make your transformation.
“Aurelia” is another term for chrysalis, the safe refuge a caterpillar constructs in which to make its metamorphosis. During this process, the caterpillar literally dissolves completely, and then, incredibly, reshapes into a butterfly. If you were to look inside the aurelia during this process, the creature would be unrecognizable, not even resembling an animal.
Change is messy, uncomfortable, and oftentimes, you don’t even know yourself while it’s happening. In moments of transition, it is natural to turn inward, to step away from life as you know it, and from that inner place, to try to find yourself once again. Or, as the case may be, to reinvent yourself.
If this is why you have visited this page, please know that I sincerely believe you can do it. It may be tough, but the payoff is amazing. Let’s take this journey together, and discover who you are meant to become.
Photo credit: Maya Benko
My Approach
In my opinion, there is no one right way to “do therapy.” For every client I have seen, I have taken a slightly different approach, because everyone has different needs. Yes, I have my favorite techniques, like EMDR, parts work, and DBT. But I also recognize that having a safe relationship with another human is the most essential piece of this puzzle. I will do my utmost to ensure that you experience safety when we are meeting, and that every part of you feels welcomed. And by committing to this work together, we can help you make your transformation.
More About Me…
I am a wife, a parent, a social justice fanatic, and an animal lover. I like to spend time in nature, read, cook, and dance. I can be a bit weird, and love to be a bit silly.
Therapy with me can be equal parts seriousness and fun. It’s rare that there isn’t a bit of laughter in my sessions.
I am a huge fan of the occasional f-bomb (although if you were to ask some of my clients, it’s probably a bit more than occasional…). I think it’s actually very therapeutic to curse, as long as it’s not cursing at someone.
I can be quite directive as a therapist at times. I also value the work of witnessing and not trying to change things, which, admittedly, can be a lot harder. I like to give people ideas for things they can actively do to feel better or handle their struggles now, when possible. Then we work on the deeper stuff, and making the lasting changes happen.
Values and Beliefs
Besides my qualifications, I feel it is equally important for my clients to know a bit about what I stand for.
I believe that people grow when they feel safe.
I believe that everyone is trying their very best. I believe that we all strive for goodness.
I believe “normal” is a social construct. For me, deviations from the norm are expected, welcome, and deserve to be celebrated. My goal as a mental health provider is not to restore your mind to some societally mandated standard of normativity. Rather, my hope is to help you get closer to the most natural, whole, and peaceful state that you are capable of embodying.
I believe it is impossible to look at a person in a vacuum. Our experiences are shaped by the environment in which we are living. This is why, especially now, my values of social justice, equality, mutual respect, and care for the earth have become inseparable from my work as a therapist. How can I hope to foster a safe environment for my clients without addressing the massive injustices occurring in our world today? I can’t. As a result, you may occasionally hear me noting how issues of racism, capitalism, ableism, climate change, transphobia, weight-bias, misogyny, or any of a thousand various forms of oppression may have impacted you. I can’t pretend that I have methods to solve these things for you, of course - that requires change on a scale that we can’t reach alone. But talking openly about these matters, taking a stand against them, and working to carve out a little oasis of peace from them, is what I aim to do in our sessions.
I believe that the work that we do transcends time. When I was a brand new clinician, I thought that dealing with the present was enough, and that visiting the past was largely unnecessary. Teach skills, move on. The longer I did this work, though, the more often I found that the past was in the room, whether or not it was talked about or invited. So while yes, skills are important for helping people manage their day-to-day lives, wounds of the past or dread for the future invariably make their way into the room. For this reason, my approach to therapy may take you to places you did not expect to go. I believe that that will result in deeper, more lasting changes for you. And while I have a few strategies that can often speed things up and help my clients feel a lot better quickly, I also value the work of deep self-exploration.
My Commitment
I am committed to cultivating an environment that supports inclusivity and respect of all people regardless of race, color, culture, religion, spiritual practice, sex, gender identity or expression, body size, age, socioeconomic status, neurotype, sexual orientation, relationship status or configuration, national origin or physical and mental abilities. I am committed to actively working on myself, examining and combatting attitudes and beliefs that have seeped into my consciousness about all forms of “difference.” If I screw up, I invite you to call me on it, and help me confront the work that I have yet to do.are welcome here.