If you have "done a lot of trauma work" and still don't feel better, EMDR may be a good next step. EMDR is a powerful tool for re-regulating your nervous system, and can heal trauma on a deeper level than traditional talk therapy. It can get you to a place where you actually feel calm, actually feel safe instead of trying to convince yourself to feel that way. I find that often, people that I work with who go through EMDR report that they couldn't have imagined feeling so peaceful, happy, or satisfied with their life before they started. The changes they experience feel more complete, lasting, and easier to maintain than with traditional talk therapy.

EMDR is a technique that seems to accelerate and deepen the work of reprocessing traumatic memories. Often, people start to notice a shift in their symptoms after only a few sessions. Because it involves the whole body (it is a type of somatic therapy), it does a better job of getting to the root of the trauma and resolving it from the ground up. It also seems to “stick” better, in that when faced with new challenges, people generally feel “stronger” and more resilient to face them than before. EMDR is useful not just for trauma, but for many others such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, personality disorders, and chronic pain. You can learn more about EMDR here.

In my opinion, EMDR is most effective when a safe and trusting relationship has been established with your therapist first. In my practice, I typically spend a good amount of time getting to know my clients and working on preparations for reprocessing. This may include learning regulation and coping strategies like visualization, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), doing parts work (related to Internal Family Systems Therapy or IFS), among others. I take a customized approach to all my work with clients and adapt to whatever needs you bring into our sessions together.

People-pleasing, hyper-independence, never trusting others fully, perfectionism, struggling to set boundaries, avoiding intimacy or zoning out during sex... These are some of the natural consequences of having been hurt by a person you’ve been in a trusting relationship with. Individuals who experience shaming, abuse, betrayal, or just a generally chaotic home environment end up with attachment systems that are uniquely wired for self-protection. The consequences listed above are just some of the ways you may have learned to both keep yourself safe from and remain connected to important people in your life.

These symptoms can also be signs of Relational Trauma or Complex PTSD. C-PTSD is, as the name indicates, more complicated than regular PTSD, because it wasn’t one big event that happened, but usually a series of thousands that took place over many years. The impacts of this type of trauma can be devastating. Maybe you can’t figure out why all your relationships are painful, or why you struggle with authority figures. Maybe it’s affecting your parenting, or you just feel keyed up all the time. Because it went on for so many years, the adaptations you have adopted in order to get through the trauma have been useful to you for longer, and are a bit more ingrained. You may have even been diagnosed with a a condition like Borderline Personality Disorder, which is closely related, and arguably just another form of C-PTSD.

For these reasons, C-PTSD can be more complicated to recover from than regular PTSD, but it is possible! For many, the first and most important step is building a safe relationship with a therapist who understands and is responsive to your needs.

Depression is often the flip-side of anxiety. Many folx who have experienced trauma find themselves cycling between feeling panicky, stressed out, nervous or overwhelmed, and feeling depressed, checked out, or like they can't get going. We can work on strategies for getting through the day, and help you balance your mood by addressing the wounds that underly those feelings. And if sometimes it gets so bad you want to just disappear? I want to let you know that I’ve seen people come back from that place and find joy in living again. You may think that that couldn’t possibly be you, but so did they.

Women, nonbinary and trans folx face unique challenges in mental health, due to living in a society that does not treat us as equal to men. Gender inequality shows up in a million ways in the US, and can cut away at our self-worth, let alone our incomes, benefits, healthcare access, safety and more. In our work together, we can discuss the ways that this toxic culture has impacted you, and work towards loving yourself enough to say "no" to being devalued wherever possible. We can look at strategies for equalizing your relationships with men, noticing and addressing power imbalances in other areas of your life.